Well, the tree caught on fire and we watched it burn down
the stockings were stuffed, but now they're charred brown
there'll be no turkey supper, no presents for me
since war's been declared on holiday glee

And there'll be no good tidings and cheer
'cuz there is a war on Christmas this year...

They cluster-bombed the North Pole and rendered the elves
depleted uranium made Rudolph's nose melt
and Frosty the Snowman, he shriveled to dust
when they hit him with rounds of white phosphorus

And there'll be no more eggnog and beer
'cuz there is a war on Christmas this year...

They tortured Mrs. Claus, but she wouldn't confess
to laundering money outside the U.S.
and when they took down old St. Nick, and hauled him away
he said "kids send your wish lists to Guantanamo Bay"

And there'll be no sleighbells and reindeer
'cuz there is a war on Christmas this year...

And even baby Jesus had nowhere to hide
from the radioactive fallout that covered the sky
so when the wisemen came calling and brought gifts to his bed
they were shocked to discover he'd been born with two heads

And there'll be no Frankincense and Myrrh
'cuz there is a war on Christmas this year...

There'll be no good tidings and cheer
'cuz there is a war on Christmas this year...

© 2006 GNILSONGS

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